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    Warning: this post is a little Fatal Attraction-y

    Early on Saturday morning (2:31 am to be exact) I received the following email:

    I didn't see it until Saturday evening, at which point I yipped excitedly and ran around my chair a few times.  I haven't yet written about Cindy Barshop but she knew that I loved her.  She knew it! 

    Even before the Frette monogrammed bathrobe episode, I admired her for many reasons--her knee sock-boot thing, her dancing with Sonja's servant and her general handlement of Ramoner.  Oh, and her hair!  I can't wear bangs to save my life and there's Cindy Barshop, just walking around Manhattan with bangs that will make you want to slap your hairdresser.  HARD. 

    See?  The fact that Cindy Barshop was following me validated my entire twitter experience and to a certain point, my existence.

    In the short span of time between reading this email and then heading to twitter to follow her back (that I did not already follow her was mere oversight on my part), I had planned a weekend trip to New York City in which I would throw a toaster oven through Sonja's window, get a vatoo, and stay up until the wee hours of the morning dancing wildly to drumbeats, all with Cindy.  My new best friend.  

    But when I arrived on twitter, I discovered that she had already unfollowed me.

    What did I do, Cindy?  WHAT DID I DO?  I go over it and over it in my head and I can't figure it out. 

    Was this the equivalent of a Ramoner drunken text?  Was this a drunken follow?  When you woke up, did you feel ashamed?  I know I am a lame tweeter.  I KNOW THAT, CINDY.  But I am a real person with real feelings.  Feelings that used to be hopefulness and excitement but are now confusion and utter despair.

    You know when I said up there that I had not yet written about you?  That was a lie.  I wrote a poem about you after the Pecking Order episode.  It is still in draft form but I have to say, it's pretty damn good.  Too bad no one will ever see it...although I might be persuaded with a follow on twitter.*  It's up to you.


    In other news, I just saw that Vicki and Donn have not had sex for 2 years?!  Not even through all of that recommittment bullshit we had to sit through???  Are you surprised? 

     I have to say, I am.


    *And a monogrammed Frette bathrobe.

    Reader Comments (25)

    Sweet Mother Mary!!

    You were right. This is a GOLD MINE. A treasure trove. You couldn't pay someone to give you material like this. I went on that emotion-caoster with you gurl. And for a hot minute I was about to take some sage advice and get my ass on Twitter, but now? Never. I couldn't take that level of rejection.

    That said, you always want what you can't have. Vajazzling aside, I dig Cindy. Hard. She's no Skinny Guuuuurl, but she offers the occasional shot of straight-talk, common-sense commentary that I crave after watching LuAnn lap JillZarin's nostrils in a manner which would put Ginger to shame. Or Kelly earnestly tell the camera that she knows what time it is yo. Or Sonja's toaster-oven ass hanging out of her Marie Antoinette micro-mini. Or 'Moner...being 'Moner. Or Franken-freak bride Van Kempen.

    Cindy is tough. And she got tough with you.

    Heartbroken for you,

    May 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrassy

    Well Brassy, I guess you're the only person that I didn't totally scare off. No problem. My doctor says I can totally handle this. Thank God he answers his phone while on vacation!

    "...watching LuAnn lap JillZarin's nostrils in a manner which would put Ginger to shame" HA!

    May 23, 2011 | Registered CommenterSGM

    Cindy has the personality of a wrung-out washcloth.

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranon

    I like Cindy. She looks at the camera and basically says... What the hell is wrong with these people?!? Cindy is echoing the sentiments of thousands of viewers. That said, Cindy will end up doing one of two things. One, she will walk away after this season therefore ensuring her sanity. Or, she will become completely unbearable like the rest. Remember folks, Bare Ass Sonja was the voice of reason last year!

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJo

    Ditto @Jo. That's all I got. xo

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCindy (not that one)

    You forgot her veneers. I'd french kiss Ramoner for those shiny veneers.
    (Not really. I'm still breast-feeding and I think that if I were to make out with Ramoner, even in jest and for under 10 seconds, I might get drunk off of the Pinot, thus compromising both my breast milk and my reputation. Everyone knows I am a Cab Sauv girl.)

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lil Bee

    Anon, I want this to be a safe place for Cindy. I appreicate your honesty, but you're not helping.

    Jo and Other Cindy, sadly I agree. Sonja's stock has really dropped.

    The Lil Bee, the poem I wrote lauds her teeth. The idea of you making out with Ramoner and getting a second-hand drunk? Get ready for a call from Andy Cohen, lady!

    May 23, 2011 | Registered CommenterSGM

    I LOVE CINDY! She has GOT to refriend you! Doesn't she know your the cool girl. She makes me laugh - she reminds me of those coversation bubbles that they use in cartons when she gives her lines. It's like the girl on the outside saying what we all think in her dry New York accent. Love her.

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterann

    SGM, You are hysterical and should totally be a guest on "Watch What Happens".

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjenniferjayhawk

    How excited am I that you're blogging again??!!! Thank goodness for Sarah's Fab Day or I never would have known you were back! Let the recaps and mayhem continue!

    Or is it the equivalent of using your iPhone to make a comment on Facebook to your boyfriend from the 9th grade at 1 AM after you've taken Ambien but haven't fallen asleep, only to wake up in the morning horrified at the vague memory. But I wouldn't know about that.

    Cindy - be smarter than that anonymous Ambien taker. No regrets ...proudly follow SGM!

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Edie

    I am so glad to find you back on! Now I can watch Bravo again. And just in time for NJ!

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlynne

    Have you gotten a vatoo yet? I need to know.

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpatty

    A toaster oven through Sonjas window... i died laughing!

    Cindy reminds me of Vikki. They both walk around with that "duh" facial expression. Everytime Cindy enters a scene i expecte her to scream. "IM WORKING, DONT ANY OF YOU WORK!?"

    May 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

    I think Cindy's twin girls are adorable but other than that I haven't decided how I feel about Cindy yet. I suppose it matters on the spin Bravo puts out.

    May 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaz

    I don't think it is at ALL weird that Cindy's brother married someone who looks exactly like Cindy.

    I think that's fine.

    May 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranon

    Cindy has that same deadpan look that reminds me of Louise Lasser on Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. Remember her?

    May 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrosebud

    OMG--Don't feel bad. I had the same giddy reaction when I discovered Cindy was following ME on twitter. I mentioned this excitedly to my husband who, without looking up from his book, dryly stated, "She's just going to drop you as soon as she gets you to follow her. Actually, one of her twitter assistant is going to drop you."

    Ha. So right he was.

    May 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrilliant Asylum

    I feel so USED, not to mention PISSED OFF.

    Rosebud, I can't believe you referenced Mary Hartman Mary Hartman! I had a vague memory but ultimately looked it up on youtube. You are so right.

    May 25, 2011 | Registered CommenterSGM

    I am so sorry. i'm going to have a shirt made with 'bloggers are people, too' written on it. I just wrote that jokingly, but now i'm actually dead might be my 'skinny margarita' 120 million dollar idea. Don't you steal this, i will cut you. and then hug you. and then dress your wound, but probably haphazardly because I don't really know how to do first aid. But i could recommend a good doctor, or my mom, she's good with bandaids.

    May 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteremily henderson

    Emily Henderson is good people.

    June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCindy (not that one)

    She did it to me too!
    Found your blog site this morning while doing research for something I'm writing about Cindy B. and read your post.
    I just checked my twitter account and she did it to me too!
    I called her on it on her Facebook wall.
    Can't wait to see if she responds.

    June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnalise

    Annalise, we are but two of hundreds. Good job calling her out on fb. If you write anything about it or if she responds to you, let me know!

    June 7, 2011 | Registered CommenterSGM

    No one else has come forward.
    I have to admit that it felt great to call her on her on it.
    I will more then likely post about it after the next episode airs. Will keep you in the know.
    Nice to meet you by the way.
    Best regards,

    June 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnalise

    Does that work? Following someone on Twitter and then dropping them once they follow you? What's the point? Someone explain.

    BTW, your recap was HYSTERICAL! Please keep it up. Oh and I think you need to be recapping Mob Wives. I know it;s on a different network, but it is food for fodder. Brillz.

    June 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenDW

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